a re-introduction + resolutions

Never one to ignore a bandwagon, I thought I'd kick off 2018 with a post in keeping with Hannah and Chloe's recent musings. I know you guys probably know my tone and style fairly well by now, but I thought I'd get down to the nitty gritty and talk about my resolutions for 2018 too.
So, on the 1st February 1994, my Dad's 27th birthday, I popped along. Well, not popped - I had been baking for 9 months and two weeks, and then proceeded to be the only natural birth my Mum would ever have. Sorry Mum. I weighed 9lbs 11oz and spent the first few years of my life living in Purley, South London. 
I had a very normal childhood, two sisters followed and then my half brother when I was 12. My Mum and Dad divorced when I was about 7, so we split our weekends between Surrey and Brighton. I was always a complete Mummy's gal, and still am. She's my absolute best friend. I always got on with my Dad and he always treated me like I was way older than I actually was, letting me have friends over to stay in Brighton and make 'cocktails' (read: mixing random alcohols and juice with random pieces of fruit) when I was 14. My dad then spent 7 years in Syria and got back early 2017, so my Grandad was a substitute dad. He's great, 80 years old and rides a Harley Davidson and has a prawn on a motorbike tattooed on his arm saying 'Prawn to be Wild' under it.
I went through the usual Croydon chav stage at about 12/13, always being too scared to get a Just Do It bag for fear of being beaten up. Closely followed by an Indie phase of adoring The Kooks (14-15) and then settling in a metalhead period for an age (15 - forever). I had bright red hair, wore a Suicide Silence top most days and anything studded or leather was a resounding yes. That never really died, I just got 'normal' coloured hair. I kept my piercings and my love for tattoos just became a reality. I still fucking love death metal and will usually be sporting some band merch under any given jumper. I just had a bit of a 'fash-up' as I'd call it. Less greebo, more Gucci.
Anyway, I met my ex when I was 15, and then went to sixth form > college > uni, moving in with him in 2014.  I pretty much had my life mapped out from the age of 16 and it was all just bobbing along. I worked in Topshop between 2010 and 2015, finally leaving because I bloody hated retail. I then finished degree one and hopped straight onto degree two. My ex and I split in 2017 after eight years (almost to the day) which I explain a tiny bit more here, which sucked and didn't suck all at the same time. I met someone else, that ended catastrophically, and well, now I'm here.
I'm now very nearly 24, very single and living in SW London with a new flatmate and my cat, Bear. I'm miserable and lonely approximately 23 hours a day, and asleep for the other one. Ok, slight exaggeration but I'm still figuring out this 'making yourself happy' thing. The world is a pretty shitty place when you're used to battling it with someone else, so that's still something I'm learning.
Things that make me happy include: petting dogs, or even seeing a dog, buying things I've saved for, drinking wine, playing the Sims, being cuddled by a human (Bear doesn't count) and eating pizza. Things that made me sad include: feeling insufficient, being lonely, feeling a little bit chubby and when my M.E plays up/people dismiss it as a fake illness. OH and blunt texts. BE NICE.
I'm passionate about a few things, namely music and fashion. I care a lot about equality for women and will get unbelievably rude very quickly if you question that. I also got into politics during Brexit and now find it interesting and unbearable all at once. I swear a lot, like all swear words - even the really bad ones - and people tell me off which makes me do it more. Don't worry, I won't swear in front of your parents. I live for Family Guy, spend hours watching crime and prison documentaries and eat olives and gherkins in bed from the jar. I also laugh uncontrollably at poop jokes, and whenever I have to deliver shitty news.
In the long-term, I'd really like to love my career, own a home and lots of dogs. I also finally wanna meet my ride-or-die guy who will treat me how I treat them, CV's welcome.
It's really weird because I write these things down with no qualms, yet the thought of anyone I'm dating etc reading them makes me die. Anyway, I'm currently focusing on finding a job to pop alongside my blog, pouring my efforts into blogging/making content I love, seeing friends more and chasing up all those 'we should have coffee!!!1!1' dates I never made. In terms of resolutions, I've kept them simple. With no pressure on if they don't work out. 

• take more film photos - I love looking back at them and the imperfections of a single shot
• write more down, use my bullet journal
• stop being a complete mug and doing anything for anyone, as I just end up being a complete fool
• remove heart from my sleeve and put it back in my chest
• find a job
• sort out my eating and sleeping habits

So, tell me something about you.

lots of love xxx

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